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UK Swinging Parties & Clubs (Couples & Single girls only)

• Belle Baise
• Fever Parties

UK Swinging Parties & Clubs (for everyone incl Single Men)

• The Limelight Club
• Hedonism UK

UK Swinging Sites

• SDC
• Swinging Heaven
• Swinging Cherries
• Swing for Pleasure
• Connect 4 Fu
• Genuine UK Swingers
• UK Swingers personals

Sexual Health

• Sexual Health
• Sex Worth Talking About
• Womens Health
• Family Planning Association

Adult Directory worth looking at

• Searching 4 Swingers
• No Popups

These FAQ were written by the female half of a couple fairly new to swinging at the time of writing.

• What is “Swinging”?
• Is Swinging for us/me?
• How to meet swingers
• Placing an online dating ad
• Weeding out the timewasters
• I’m new, what will be expected of me?
• I feel confused about my feelings, is this normal?
• Turning down advances
• Friends, family and privacy

What is “Swinging”?

Put in its simplest form, “swinging” is enjoying consensual sexual experiences with people other than your regular partner. Most people, who swing and are part of a couple, do so with the full knowledge, consent and, usually the participation of, their partner. Within this, however, there is a broad spectrum of activities. For some, swinging forms a big part of their life, for others it is an occasional “treat”. Some people enjoy a wide variety of swinging partners; others form longstanding relationships with one couple. For some, swingers “anything goes”, while others confine themselves to limited experiences that they enjoy, for example girls exploring their bisexuality together whilst the partners simply watch.

There are swinging clubs, swinging saunas, swinging holiday resorts, private or business-run parties, individual relationships, internet communities and chat rooms. Some people involved in the swinging community don’t actively participate but like to exchange ideas and fantasies to enhance their private lives.

Although these sorts of activities and this sort of lifestyle are most commonly referred to as “swinging”, you will come across many different terms for them. Some people dislike the terms “swinging” and “swingers” and alternatives used or suggested include “the scene” or “the Lifestyle”.

Is Swinging for us/me?

There are millions of people who enjoy the lifestyle and find that it enhances their sex lives with their partners. Swinging can add variety, excitement, allow you to explore other sides of your sexuality, be a way of meeting new and interesting people, provide inspiration for your fantasies and give you and your partner fabulous experiences on which you can draw in your private sex life together.

The main criterion for successful swinging is that you have no major problems in your relationship with your partner. Swinging will not solve an existing problem in your relationship and is unlikely to provide something that you feel is “missing” from your sex life. If this sounds like you, sort out the problems first before getting involved in the lifestyle. Another recipe for disaster is where one person coerces their partner to get involved against his or her wishes. People who get involved in the Lifestyle for these reasons usually find that it quickens the decline of their relationship rather than improves it.

If you have a solid relationship and you are both keen to try new things with sexy new playmates, then swinging may well be for you. Do explore the issues that might arise with your partner before rushing in. For example, is your self-esteem high enough to avoid destructive feelings of jealousy if your partner is openly attracted to, and maybe making love with, another attractive person? Would you be willing to call a halt to something that was making your partner feel uncomfortable? Finally, keep open the lines of communication with your partner as you experience new things to ensure that you are both happy about the way things are going.

How to meet swingers

There are many different ways of meeting potential swinging partners and people’s approaches vary. One of the most popular is to place an advertisement or creating a profile on a specialist site like SDC, also see Placing an online dating ad. You can also advertise in newspapers and specialist magazines. There are also various social events, swinging parties and swinging clubs (organised privately or as a business) and these are advertised by specialist websites and magazines. They range from purely social occasions such as these Loungeparties Socials to full-on action play parties. Be reassured though that, in swinging circles, the etiquette that “no means no” is widely adhered to and it is very unlikely that someone will try to pressure you into doing anything with which you are not comfortable.

You will find mainly established male/female couples on the swinging scene. It is more common to find couples comprising a straight guy and a bisexual girl than a totally bisexual or heterosexual couple. There are quite a few single men looking for group experiences and fewer single girls. You may also find two or more couples with a regular swinging relationship who are looking for others to join in.

Placing an online dating ad

Placing an ad (or replying to one) in a specialist Personals area of a website can be a great way to meet people who might interest you as potential swinging partners. In general, the more information you can give about yourselves, the more likely you are to get replies from people who suit you.

Suggested topics for inclusion in your personal ad are: your ages and physical descriptions; if you are a couple, your relationship with each other; where you are located; the distance you are willing to travel and/or whether you could accommodate potential swinging partners; your sexual orientation; your level of swinging experience; and, critically, what sort of experiences are you looking for and what you do not want e.g. “couples only”, “full swap”, see Online dating abbreviations. The ubiquitous “sexy fun” is so vague that it is not particularly helpful.

Many people find it very useful to include a photograph of each person advertising. This has the following advantages: you are likely to get more people looking at your ad; the replies you get are likely to be more similar to you in standard of looks; and you are then in a better position to ask for photographs in return from those responding to your advertisement. You may find that posting and requesting normal, clothed pictures in regular situations work best. Also see Weeding out the timewasters below.

One of the downsides of placing a personal ad is that it is likely that only a small proportion of those that reply will interest you. Some who reply will even have ignored totally what you have said you want, it seems that a large number of guys do not understand the phrase “No Single Men”… It does also mean that you will be putting your personal information and intentions in a public domain, see Friends, family and privacy below.

Online dating abbreviations

Common abbreviations and terms you will come across are:

• bi: bisexual
• str8: straight
• asl: age, sex and location
• mmf, “mff”, “mmff” etc: different combinations of male and female to describe group sex activities
• Same room/separate room: Both couples play in the same room (common) or when couples swap partners and have fun in different rooms.
• Soft Swinging: This is the opposite of a “full swap” (see below). It usually means that there will be non-penetrative foreplay and/or girl-on-girl sex all together but that each couple will only have full sex with their own partner (either in front of the others or alone)
• Full Swap: This is where each person has full penetrative sex with the other’s partner
• Hardened Swingers: Hardened Swingers, generally means experienced swingers, but often used as a negative, eg “we aren’t hardened swingers”
• S&M Sadomasochism. This can range from light bondage to extreme pain so it is best to specify which you are into!
• Polyamory or poly” relationships: Generally having a loving relationship with more than one person but might also be a regular foursome between two couples.

Weeding out the timewasters

As with any other relationship with new people, everything is based on the trust between you. There are things that you can do to help to reassure you however. Generally, the more contact you have had with potential swinging partners before you meet, the more likely you are to work out if they are not who they say they are.

Emails, telephone calls, chatting online and exchanging pictures all help although none give any guarantees. Be wary, in particular, of: only the man in a “couple” making contact with you and not giving you the opportunity to speak to or see his partner; inconsistent personal details; and photos which may have been stolen or doctored. It can be very helpful to exchange pictures of the couple together in normal situations e.g. on holiday, at home (these are not as easy to fake as sexy pics that could have been stolen from the net). Even better can be chatting on a messenger service with a webcam each. Most swingers will also be more than happy to meet socially in a public place such as a pub before taking things further – after all, they will have the same concerns about you! Finally, you can meet a range of couples socially with no pressure at events such as the “Socials” arranged by Loungeparties (see “How do I meet people to swing with?”, above).

I’m new, what will be expected of me?

It is extremely unlikely that you will be pressured into doing anything with which you are not comfortable. Make your feelings and expectations known to potential swinging partners and the overwhelming majority will accept them with no questions asked and without putting pressure on you. Of course, it helps enormously if you are clear in your own mind where you would like to set your personal boundaries. You should also have a clear understanding of what your partner feels about what he or she would like to do and what he or she would be comfortable with you doing! Some couples even have special signs or code words to use in swinging situations to tell each other whether or not they are comfortable with something.

I feel confused about my feelings, is this normal?

It’s not unheard of, especially in the early days in a new lifestyle such as this, to feel nervous or confused. Don’t beat yourself up over it! The sorts of emotions that arise are very similar to those that you would experience as a single person meeting a potential new partner and getting to know them. Also, you will have the added complication of more people involved and that you are experiencing these things, in most cases, as a couple. Remember also that you may become intimate sexually quite quickly with people that you don’t know terribly well in other respects. It is to be expected that, at least at first, you will have to deal with issues such as jealousy, fear of rejection, self-doubt, questioning yourself and others and swinging is bound to bring up questions about your existing relationship that had not previously occurred to you. However, if you have good self-esteem and a healthy, open relationship with your partner, you will deal with any of these negative feelings successfully and you will probably find that your relationships with yourself and your partner are enhanced.

Turning down advances

This can be a tricky issue, especially if you have come to like someone and do not want to hurt his or her feelings. The best approach is to be open and honest whilst remaining tactful and respectful of their feelings. Let’s face it, we all like different types of people and are looking for different types of experiences. If you know that to tell someone the truth would hurt their feelings, it is quite easy to avoid putting them down by citing practical difficulties like the lack of time in your schedule or geographical distance.

The flip side to this is: don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to take things further with you. You may be simply not their “type” although you would be perfect for someone else. There may even be issues in their relationships or lives that prevent them moving forward but of which you are unaware. Keep looking, and when you find other swingers more compatible with you, you are sure to have better experiences.

Friends, family and privacy

Some swingers are completely open about their lifestyle with non-swinging people that they know and say that their views and experiences are usually met with interest and fascination rather than disgust. Others, however, would prefer to keep this part of their life separate and don’t want, for whatever reason, people outside of the swinging community to know that they are part of it. This is an entirely personal decision and, if you let people know that you would like to be discreet, they will almost always fully respect that.

Obviously, if you are using the Internet, for example to post a personal ad and/or pictures of yourself, you will be putting personal information about you and your sexual activities into a reasonably public domain. We don’t imagine though that many people who are not swingers or actively considering the lifestyle are paying to join swingers site!

There are also steps you can take to protect your privacy, such as restricting those to whom you give access to your photos, or even using different names until you have come to trust someone.

• What should we expect at a Loungeparty?
• What should we wear/bring to a Loungeparty?
• Common-sense Rules and Etiquette
• Safe Sex
• Smoking Policy
• What about single men?

What should we expect at a Loungeparty?

Loungeparties events can be divided into two main formats:

“Socials” Our socials are held in bars and other public venues where sexual contact is not appropriate. This is an opportunity for you to socialise with other Loungeparty guests. In order to attend, you must have applied with photos and received an invitation. If you would like to bring friends they too have to follow the same process, this is for the security of the whole group.

The size of the socials vary depending on the location, the typical would be about 60 guests, mostly couples with 2 – 4 single women. They are held on both week and weekend evenings, typically from 7ish to whenever the bar closes. Occasionally we have had official After Parties but this is not the norm, however, it’s quite possible some couples get together for a little party of their own.

Food is often available at the locations in which a social is held, we will include relevant details with the event invitation.
There is usually a small charge for a social, payable in advance.

“Play Parties” Play parties are held at a private location, usually luxury apartments. To attend one has to be on the guest list and receive a party invitation.

Play parties usually start out with a couple of hours of socialising and flirting over a few drinks after which foursomes or small groups pair off and head for the bedrooms to explore sexually. Noone is pressured to take part, however, and you may choose not to “play” or to play only with your own partner and simply enjoy the erotic environment subject to a few common-sense rules set out below.

For your security, venue details will only be available to those on the guest list and, to those who have paid their contribution. Our rules and etiquette apply to other events organised by or through Loungeparties to the extent appropriate.

Food is not provided at Loungeparties play parties and you are advised to have a light meal before you arrive.

What should we wear/bring to a Loungeparty?

Show that you have made an effort and try to look sexy, if it’s a social your dress should be appropriate for a public venue.

At a play party, anything goes and clothes usually get discarded to some extent during the evening! One can dress as raunchy as they like, arriving and changing is perfectly acceptable as is changing through the course of the evening.

Our play parties always start with a champagne reception and there are usually a few other drinks on offer however we suggest guests bring a bottle, mixes will be available.

You will not need cash at a play party and, for security, are advised not to bring unnecessarily large amounts. We provide condoms but you are advised also to carry your own for convenience and particularly if you have particular requirements or tastes. You are welcome to bring your sex toys and guests will be responsible for your own possessions.

Common-sense Rules and Etiquette

• Always treat other guests with respect.
• No means no. Please be polite if you don’t want to play with someone. On the flip side, don’t take a refusal personally.
• Know your own boundaries and those of your partner (if any) before you attend.
• Respect the boundaries of others.
• Soft swap/ full swap/ oral sex/ girl-girl and group activity are all common. Less common but still acceptable is anal sex or men exploring their bi-sexuality. It is up to you and your partner whether or not you play together.
• Do not assume that, because someone is playing, you are automatically invited to join in. Wait for an invitation either explicitly or by a positive response to you making minor contact. (Stroking someone’s arm or leg is often a good way to show that you are interested in joining in without risking offence).
• Due to the nature and size of our venues, we cannot guarantee privacy. If you play, you will need to be comfortable with others watching.
• Please be aware that, while the majority of female Loungeparties guests are bi-sexual, some are straight. Don’t take anything for granted.
• Do not worry about not being able to get, or losing, erections. This is a very common situation (and there may be increased “performance anxiety” at a swinger party). Everyone has experienced this and understands it.
• Don’t drink so much that you are offensive or unable to enjoy the experience.
• Mobile phones should be turned off, or left at home. If the phone must be used please use it outside.
• Treat the venue as you would your home.
• No cameras.

Safe Sex

Safe sex is practised without prompting and condoms are used unless specifically agreed by those taking part (long term/polyamorous partners).

Smoking Policy

All events are non smoking, however we try provide a smoking area whenever possible.

Single men

Loungeparties does not cater to single men. We are unique in that we are strictly couples and single females only. The reasoning behind this is because most genuine swinging couples are looking for others similar to themselves, along with the occasional single woman.

Men can only attend events accompanied by the partner they applied with. Bringing a stand-in date is not what Loungeparties is about and is unacceptable.

The following are some tips to help guests get the most out of the evening.

Our social evenings are for couples to meet face to face in a no pressured environment. They are an efficient way of meeting lots of genuine couples in one evening without any pressure or awkwardness that goes with one on one meetings. At socials you have the unique opportunity to get the true sense of ones personality that is not revealed on an internet profile.

Some tips for first timers

• Get there early. It might be tempting to have a few drinks before hand but if you are new and want to socialise get there early. So many couples have had a few drinks at a nearby bar in the hope they will be more relaxed and ease into the party later but end up feeling isolated when it appears that everyone else is getting along great giving the impression that they are old friends. If you are a little shy or nervous please make an effort to get their early, that way you can meet couples as they gradually arrive.
• Circulate. The point of the evening is to meet others. You might find you get on really well with another couple but we urge you to introduce yourselves to a few others. Try make a point of meeting everyone there. No one will be offended if you circulate, or you could circulate with your new friends. Human interaction is so much better than email or online chat so make the most of the opportunity. You can mail and arrange to meet up with those special couples at any later date.
• Depending on the venue think twice about sitting down if you are looking to mingle. When a couple walk in and sit down away from others they give the message they want to be alone and check out the scene. If you are shy stand closer to a bar or where others are more likely to strike up conversation.
• Don’t be shy. Everyone is a little nervous but we are all there for the same reason, to meet others. Don’t be shy to introduce yourselves. Sticking up conversation doesn’t necessarily mean you want to have sex with each other, although it might. There will be a lot of interesting people there make the most of the opportunity.
• Respect. We are all open minded swingers or potential swingers out to meet similar, but everyone has their own limits and views, please respect others. If you don’t quite click at least you know, move on and circulate.

Good luck
Loungeparties

Loungeparties is an exclusive swingers club hosting swinging parties and socials in London and the UK for genuine, attractive couples and single girls.

Loungeparties offers a range of different events such as:

• Socials
• Swinging Parties
• Open Source Parties
• Masquerade Balls

Loungeparties is unique because of our:

• Exclusivity
• Age policy
• Vetting
• Single men policy

Socials

Loungeparties started in 2002 and was the first organisation to host “swinging socials”, relaxed evenings out to meet and flirt with other couples and single girls.

The idea being to meet and socialise with similar couples into swinging and group sex in a relaxed no pressure environment, usually a private bar. Full on play parties can be a little intimidating, especially for first timers but with socials couples meet others in a relaxed no pressure environment. Its also great to network and hear about other clubs, sites and possibly get invited to a private party hosted by other guests.

Loungeparties socials are a great way to make new friends with other attractive, educated, open-minded professionals. Many lifelong friendships extending beyond casual sex started at a Loungeparties social.

Swinging Parties

Loungeparties swinging parties are held luxury apartments in and around London. Typically play parties start at around 9pm with a champagne reception where guests will mingle for a couple of hours. Even if one hasn’t been before everyone is very friendly and welcoming, we can all remember our first parties and know what it feels like.

After a few drinks and some flirting guests start paring off and head for the bedrooms. What goes on is up to those involved, women are always in control and a subtle gesture is all that’s required to fend off any unwanted advances.

Our parties always sell out well in advance so it’s recommended to book early. Once one is on the guest list it’s a mostly a matter of first come first served however this might be skewed a little to allow first timers a chance.

Open Source Parties

Loungeparties guests have befitted greatly from the community spirit. We have always encouraged and welcomed our membership to get involved. This has lead to some interesting parties that we wouldn’t have conceived on our own such as pool party weekends in nice houses in the country, weekend getaways, themed parties etc.

We wholeheartedly encourage this and welcome guests to get involved with co hosting or hosting Loungeparties events.. For further information please get in touch.

Masquerade Balls

We have co hosted a couple of exotic Masquerade Balls in stately homes which were fantastic and would love to do more. However to do it to desired standards takes a huge amount of effort, a bit like planning a wedding with the additional challenge of keeping it private. We know there is a desire for the parties and as soon as an opportunity presents itself loungeparties will host another one.

Exclusivity, age, vetting and no single men

All our events are totally exclusive, only applications that have been accepted will be will be added to the guest list and invited to attend Loungeparties events.

Age
Loungeparties started with a 35 and under rule but we found the limit a bit arbitrary, it incentives those on the cusp to lie and there are some great looking super fit 40+ men/women out there. So Loungeparties no longer has an upper age limit.

Saying that we understand that there are many who prefer to mix amongst their own age group so the new application form asks for preferable guest age. Depending on the data we may host a few special events to satisfy the demographics.

Vetting
Loungeparties is primarily aimed at attractive, professional couples and the majority of couples prefer to play with couples more or less like themselves, along with single bisexual women.

We understand everyone’s time is precious and filtering at the early stage goes a long way to ensure everyone enjoys great parties.

No Single Men
While we can sympathise with single men wanting to attend a swinging party it’s not what most of our guests are looking for so Loungeparties has always had a strict no single men policy. Our parties aim to provide a relaxed fun no pressure atmosphere for couples and single women.

Miscellaneous

• Main logo “threesome” photo by Cliff
• Tour artwork by Pashet
• Slideshow tour by Chris Coyier of CSS Tricks